These are oldies but so good I had to share…I hope you all like them..Made me crack up on this dreary day.?
> >
> > 1. A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s going to have her baby
> > in the cab!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the
> > lady’s dress, and started to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed
> > that there were several cabs – and I was in the incorrect one. Submitted by
> > Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX.
> >
> > 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
> > slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Huge breaths,” I
> > instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” answered the patient. Submitted by
> > Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
> >
> > 3. One day I had to be the bearer of terrible news when I told a wife that
> > her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
> > minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
> > had died of a “massive internal fart.” Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg,
> > Manitoba, Canada.
> >
> > 4. During a patient’s two-week follow-up appointment with his
> > cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having distress
> > with one of his medications. “Which one?” I questioned. “The patch. The nurse
> > told me to place on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of
> > places to place it!” I had him quickly undress and learned what I
> > hoped I wouldn’t see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
> > Now, the instructions include removal of the ancient patch before applying a
> > new one. Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
> >
> > 5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I questioned, “How
> > long have you been bedridden?” After a look of complete confusion she
> > answered…”Why, not for about twenty years – when my husband was
> > alive.” Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
> >
> > 6. I was caring for a woman and questioned, “So how’s your breakfast this
> > morning?” “It’s very excellent, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem
> > to get used to the taste” the patient answered. I then questioned to see the
> > jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled “KY Jelly.” Submitted
> > by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
> >
> > 7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with
> > purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
> > tattoos, and wearing weird clothing, entered. It was quickly
> > determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled
> > for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the
> > operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed
> > green, and above it there
> > was a tattoo that read, “Keep off the grass.” Once the surgery was
> > completed, the surgeon wrote a small note on the patient’s dressing,
> > which said, “Sorry, had to mow the lawn.” Submitted by RN no name
> >
> > AND FINALLY!!!…………….
> >
> > 8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed
> > when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had
> > unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady
> > upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
> > further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said,
> > “I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?” She answered, “No doctor, but the song
> > you were whistling was, “I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener”. Doctor
> > wouldn’t
> > submit his name………..
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Comments
loved them all. they were sooo amusing
excellent ones
lol
lol!
Lol!
LOl!
LOL!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks they excellent.
lol, Those were Fantastic!! I like the final two!!!
They were fantastic very amusing!
they’re all amusing but the last one is hilarious…….my best friend is pregnant with my godson and when she went to the doctor to find out the sex of her baby the doctor thought it would be cute to say “so your baby has an oscar mayer weiner” instead of “it’s a boy” lmao. my friend thought it was hilarious and rushed home to call me and tell me lmao
I have the same problem with the KY jelly it dont taste excellent.
Nice!
The one about the lady who was
“Bedridden” is a real dinosaur.
I had an ancient guy tell me that one
when I was about 10.
but it’s still amusing!
The person who thought it was
“Kentucky Jelly” was probably from
Meigs County, OHIO…
(private joke)
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